A Savage Failure
by toomanycurls
Summary: Charlie is a lifetime bachelor - what was his love life like before it utterly failed?


People or stars

Regard me sadly, I disappoint them.

- Sheep in fog by Sylvia Plath

The dragon preserve in Romania was a destination for the wealthy and well-traveled to visit when they desired a touch of the exotic in their holiday. Visitors to the preserve had been restricted to official visitors from the Ministry or, if the director gave permission, the families of the dragon keepers. Now families needed a sack full of galleons to meet the famed dragon tamers.

Guests greeted by a friendly, "Hi, I'm Weasley, Charlie Weasley and I'll be your guide," recognized the famous family name. Besides the fact that Charlie had a brother who was directly involved in the defeat of Voldemort several years ago, most knew that the Weasleys were a large family and that it was still growing.

Within the first few hours of their trip, once a few dragons had been spotted, guests would attempt small talk with Charlie. The questions about his wife and children were as common as rain in the spring. There was the equally predictable tone of disappointment and an awkward, "er," as the guest would reach for another topic. This is the point in the conversation where Charlie would start talking about his most recent visit with the famous Ron Weasley, Harry Potter, and Hermione Granger-Weasley.

While predictable, the often almost perfunctory exchange always put Charlie in a sullen mood. He would put on a cordial face and keep a pleasant conversation going until he could deposit the travelers in their cabins for the evening and throwback enough whiskey to dull the continually raw wound but not enough to forget him.

It had been more than 10 years and Charlie could still close his eyes and recall every scar, the lines on his face, and how his hands felt against his skin. Brad Savage, why oh why did he have to die? Why did Charlie rebuff his many opportunities to have a full and happy life together? On some nights, when Charlie felt the need for additional comfort – or was it additional pain? – he would let himself remember the man he had loved for so long.

**April, 1997**

Hogsmeade had a cool spring breeze when Charlie arrived in town with a slight crack. It was the second time that month he visited the village to comfort his heartbroken friend and help her through her mission to ensnare the werewolf Remus Lupin with her love. Previous to this, Tonks had only cried on his shoulder a handful of times in their long friendship.

The first time was out of frustration at having fumbled her quidditch tryouts in their 4th year. She rued her clumsiness and felt humiliated that she tripped not just herself but the two people next to her when she went to mount her broom. The second time was when Tonks was worried about failing her auror exams. She managed to stumble over a tree root and set off a snare she was supposed to be disarming. While quick wand work kept her to passing it did not save her pride.

Tonks had recently visited Remus at his undercover mission and was in need of a friend to confide in. Charlie learned about two hours into his visit that Tonks had more on her agenda than good advice from her dragon tamer friend. It had been years since Charlie heard the same level of shyness in Tonks' voice than when she said, "There's a guy I'd like to introduce you to. He's an auror and, um, asked if you'd be interested in him…"

It was clear from the way Tonks' voice trailed off, she wasn't entirely confident that Charlie was interested in blokes. "Sure, I'll meet him," he said with a lopsided grin. There wasn't a need for him to tell Tonks that he fancied blokes nearly as much, if not more, than women. She understood and had perhaps wondered in the past but found it irrelevant to ask about.

"Let's get to the bar then!" Tonks said grabbing Charlie's hand and dragging him out of the flat.

They grabbed a table and two drinks. Tonks kept an eye on the door and grinned widely as a tall man with dark hair walked past with a wink to the both of them. "I take it that's Brad?" Charlie asked turning his head to watch the man order at the bar. Tonks nodded as she watched Charlie down his drink. "Guess I should go re-order."

Liquid courage pushed Charlie towards the bar where Brad was ordering. Glancing over as Charlie walked up, Brad turned towards the red-haired man and said "I'm Savage, Brad Savage," extending a hand and a shy smile.

There was some secret agent quality in the way Brad introduced himself and it quite endeared him to Charlie. Something in the way Brad's eyes twinkled as they shook hands that reminded Charlie of the stars shining over the dragon habitat in Romania. "The name's Charlie," he said returning the smile.

It could have been a few minutes or a few hours later that Tonks wandered up and said she was shoving off and that she wouldn't wait up. Charlie lost track of time and surrounding as Savage asked about life in Romania as a dragon keeper.

"It's really not as glamorous as it sounds. A crew of burly wizards, crazed beasts that could kill any of us." Charlie touched Brad's arm feeling strength under the material of his shirt. "We could use more blokes built like you," Charlie said with a squeeze.

"I could use a man like you," Brad said in Charlie's ear watching as he turned a bright red color.

Snogging might have started right there or in an alley just around the corner. Neither of them were aware of much until Savage toppled over a rubbish bin and Charlie fell next to him on the ground. Both started a raucous, carrying laugh that took what felt like minutes to die down. On their backs they looked up at the night sky holding hands.

"I suppose we got a bit carried away," Charlie said still breathing heavily. "You've been hanging around Tonks too much if you're tripping over yourself like that."

Brad rolled toward Charlie and rested on his elbow. "It might be the effect you're having on me. I'm usually quite well balanced." Leaning towards the freckled man, Savaged kissed Charlie gently on the lips. "I'd like to see you again," he said in a soft tone.

Charlie blinked for a few moments. He had enjoyed his evening but wasn't sure how practical a dating relationship would be as an expatriate and a member of a secret society on the verge of war. Expecting different words to come out of his mouth, Charlie instead said, "I'd like that too. I just don't know when with us living in different parts of the world."

The smile that formed on Savage's face was wicked and alluring. "I'll write to you and remind you to visit the motherland."

Charlie left that night to go back to Romania. He had to be up at dawn to feed the newly hatched dragons. Bleary-eyed and happy he was unfocused on the task at hand for most of the morning. It was less than a week letter when he got a short letter from Brad asking if there was an opening on Charlie's crew. Chuckling to himself, he could see that Brad would be a pleasant distraction from the more serious matters in life.

**August, 1997**

Charlie was leaving the Ministry after what felt like days of questioning when he next saw Savage. Bill's wedding had been crashed and some of the guests questioned by death eaters. Most of the family was left well alone but Charlie was singled out because of his work out of the country. Feeling tired and dirty, he was eager to leave London after a quick stop at the Burrow to say goodbyes to the remaining family. Almost to the fireplaces that would take Charlie out of the miserable atrium, a voice started to call, "Charlie! Hold up!"

Savage was running towards him with a grin on his face. Charlie briefly wondered if the handsome auror had been in a coma for the past few days while his employer fell to Voldemort. It only took a few moments for the two men to be inches apart. "Hi Savage," Charlie said with the best smile he could muster given his prolonged interrogation. "How have you been?"

Finally looking the ginger over, Brad's smile fell and a look of concern muddled his face. "Never mind me. Who did this to you? What's happened? Did they question you down there?" Savage's voice was rising with each question.

Putting a calloused hand to the other man's mouth, Charlie shushed him and asked, "Is there somewhere private we can talk?"

Without another word, Brad nodded and pulled Charlie towards a fireplace. They popped out in a flat which appeared to belong to Savage. It was small, a bit messy, but looked happy and comfortable. "Can I make you tea?" Brad asked as he headed into his kitchen. "Are you hungry? You look famished – I'll make you some eggs."

Charlie took a seat at the tiny kitchen table feeling grateful for a few moments to collect his thoughts. He didn't know if he could truly confide in Brad. Sure, he liked him and thought he had a cute bum but that didn't guarantee he was on the same side of the war or that he could be trusted with the secrets Charlie knew.

Placing a bit of scrambled eggs and buttered toast on the table, Brad sat across from Charlie looking apprehensive. Maybe he was grappling with how much information to share as well. "I… I know what happened," he said as Charlie started in on the breakfast. "They killed Scrimegour and You-Know-Who has taken over."

Swallowing hard, Charlie raised an eyebrow as he asked, "Then why are you running into the Ministry as giddy as a schoolboy? You should run and fight – not stay and be a stooge."

"There's nowhere I could run that the Ministry wouldn't catch up with me, Charlie. I have to stay and play a part," Savage paused for a moment as if contemplating his next words, "I've been told to spy on your family. On your dad."

A loud scrape of wood on wood could be heard throughout the flat as Charlie made to get out of his chair. "You're spying on my family? On me? Oh that's great, Savage – invite me over and pump me for information!" Charlie's hand was firmly set on his wand.

Savage stood as well so he could look Charlie in the eye. "It's not like that. I – I'm trying to help. It's complicated, _Weasley_," he said with a touch of acid in his tone. "I can't just march out of my job but I can shield your family as much as possible. I saw what happened to Tonks at work once they got wind of her and Lupin. It's not safe for anyone right now…" Charlie started to cut Brad off but he continued on, "That doesn't mean I'm going to roll over and be a stooge. I'll do my job but won't get your family in trouble."

Deciding that he could stand to hear more before storming out, Charlie took his seat. "Go on," he said with a stubborn glare at the man across from him.

"You're kind of cute when you're angry," Brad said leaning back in his chair hoping to see a grin on Charlie's face. When one did come he pressed on. "I can see your mood won't be changed by flattery. They gave me your dad's file yesterday – yes, he has a file," Savage added before Charlie could have another outburst. "No one at work knows about us so they think this is just another gig for me. They must also think we're all as dimwitted as Dawlish to not notice how much changed overnight." Brad reached for Charlie's hand and held it before reassuring him, "I'm not on their side but I can do more good on the inside. Better that I report on your family's benign behavior than having them watched by someone who wants them in Azkaban."

There were too many thoughts rushing through Charlie's mind to make sense of everything. The use of _us _was making his heart race. It could have been the passion behind Brad's eyes or the fact that Charlie didn't want to imagine the man across from him to be a spy, but he couldn't help but believe him. "I'm sorry I got mad. I've been through quite an ordeal these past few days and you on _his_ side would have tore me up."

"Don't apologize," he said firmly. "We're not enemies but we're not exactly on the same side either."

Neither spoke for a few minutes. Savage drank the rest of his tea while Charlie shoveled down his breakfast. Once he finished eating, Charlie looked around the flat and spotted the bathroom. "Would it be okay if I use your shower? Mum will have a fit of kittens if I go home looking like this," he said gesturing to his bruised face and general disheveled state.

"Be my guest," Brad said grabbing the dishes and setting them on the counter. "Let me get you a tow-" he stopped midsentence as he noticed Charlie taking his clothes off in the middle of the living room. Blushing slightly, Brad handed the still stripping man a towel.

Looking up from pulling his shoes off, Charlie saw Brad's flushed face and grinned. "Sorry, too many years in the quidditch locker room to by shy about getting starkers for the shower," he said walking past Brad and into the bathroom.

A few minutes later, Brad could hear the sounds of the outdated shower handles turning. A short yelp from the bathroom let him know that the water went straight to scalding. Hearing the squeaks of adjusting knobs and stream of swear words, Brad went in to help. "You have to get them just right," he said fiddling with the hot and cold dials. "Is that better?"

Charlie nodded slowly. "It's perfect," he said vaguely before adding, "but I might need your help again if it goes all wonky. Maybe you should stay with me to keep me safe." Brad could feel a swoosh of excitement in his stomach and other bits. Getting naked with Charlie wasn't what he thought his morning would involve but he wasn't about to look a gift hippogriff in the mouth. "Nice tats," Charlie said when Brad stepped into the shower.

"Nice scars," Brad countered eyeing the old wounds on Charlie's arms and shoulders. "Nice everything," he said quietly lightly touching Charlie's bare torso.

After they were both showered and cleaner than they had been, both needed to leave and go about their day. "Thanks for breakfast and… everything," Charlie said at the door. "I really enjoyed myself."

"It was nothing, really. I'm glad you're safe," Brad said brushing a stray hair from Charlie's face. "I'm not sure if I can keep in contact with… with everything going on." He blushed looking like he regretted bringing it up.

"Can't start sending wonton letters to the family you're keeping tabs on?" Charlie asked cheekily.

"It might be suspicious," Brad said with a low laugh. "I will try to keep them safe – at least from Azkaban."

Charlie leaned in kissing Brad softly. "Take care of yourself," he said as he pulled away. "Goodbye."

**February, 1998**

"Weasley!" Charlie looked up as his foreman shouted at him from the top of the dragon enclosure. "Up here!" With a glance and a shrug to Peters and Nelson, Charlie made his way to the place where Ragar stood watch. Climbing the ladder up, he could see four legs. Two were clearly Ragar's judging by the weathered dragonhide boots. The other pair of legs had a pair of shined shoes that did not belong to anyone who regularly worked with dragons.

The shock of seeing Brad with an austere look of purpose and duty on his face almost caused Charlie to fall off the ladder. Ragar seemed to notice an imbalance in his employee and extended a hand to pull Weasley up to the platform. There had to be something horribly wrong for Brad to come to Romania. Deciding to act as he if didn't know the man next to his boss, Charlie said, "What can I do for you, Ragar? Another Ministry tour?"

When the reserve had guests, Charlie was often asked to show them around. Most of the dragon keepers were exceptional when it came to handling dangerous creatures and performing the complicated conjunctivitis spell but not very gifted when it came to socializing. "This here is Brad Savage from the Auror Office. It seems he has some questions for you." Charlie could see his boss was worried but didn't want to let on in front of the stranger. "I'll have someone cover for you while he's here," Ragar said leaving the two of them alone.

"Is there somewhere private we can talk?" Brad asked in an authoritative voice. Charlie nodded and walked Savage to the employee barracks and into his suite. The new dragon keepers had to share rooms for the first year then they were able to move into little suites. The extra bit of privacy was nice after a long shift feeding and caring for vicious fire-breathing beasts.

Closing the door behind them when they were both in his living quarters, Charlie was taken by surprise when Brad kissed him fiercely. "I'm here to investigate your suspicious activity against the Ministry," Brad said between kisses. "Nothing's wrong, no one's been hurt," he said once he saw the slightly bewildered look on Charlie's face. "I just couldn't bear more time away from you."

His mind and heart racing, Charlie let out a laugh of relief. "You're faking a mission?" he asked with incredulity.

"Not entirely. Here I am, in Romania. I'll write a report on my visit." Charlie raised his eyebrows. "It won't be a fact-based report," Brad added.

It wasn't long until the two men were snuggling together beneath the blankets. "I've missed you," Charlie said tracing one of Brad's tattoos. His arms were heavily decorated with various images and designs that weaved together into beautiful art. "I'm glad you're here," he added.

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be," Brad said squeezing Charlie's hand. "Your family is doing well. Except your brother with spattergroit." Savage scrunched his nose up. "I had to check up on him in September and, well, he kind of looked ghoulish."

Charlie sat up abruptly. "You didn't – how, how did you know?" he sputtered feeling that his ability to lie to Brad had completely diminished.

"I did get an E in Care of Magical Creatures and went on to be trained as an auror… the other bloke didn't spot that the ghoul was about a foot too short to be Ron or that it was a ghoul," Brad said in an almost proud voice. "I didn't let on that I thought anything other than it was a boy on his very deathbed," he reassured Charlie. "Have you heard from him?" Brad asked in a would-be casual voice.

The ability to lie returned like a dragon to its nest. "No," he said abruptly. "Mum's been worried sick but Dad thinks he's safe wherever he is." The truth was that Bill had sheltered Ron for a few months at Shell Cottage after what sounded like a slight falling out between Ron and Harry. Charlie heard all of this from Bill when they last met a number of weeks ago.

An awkward silence fell between the two lovers while one wondered if he had been lied to and the other if the visit was just a fact-finding mission. Charlie scolded him for being foolhardy enough to think Brad was there just to be with him. Had his auror in shining armor gone from neutral-good to bad?

"I shouldn't have asked," Brad said after a few minutes. "I was just curious… I know it can't be easy for your family right now."

"I understand," Charlie said after a few moments. "It's just a bit difficult with you spying on my family and…" his voice trailed off unsure how to finish his thought gracefully.

"And running off to shag you?" Brad offered grinning. "I don't like this anymore than you do, Charlie. I feel completely dodgy snooping on the family of the man I love-" Brad stopped talking as if he'd been hit by a bludger. "I meant that… I didn't mean to say it like that," he said struggling for the right words.

Charlie searched his eyes for a moment before saying, "I love you too," and holding Brad tight. He didn't want to let go of the moment or the man. Unfortunately neither could last forever. The next morning Brad had to return to London after a brief interview with Ragar to have a few official sounding quotes for his report.

Brad stopped by Charlie's room before leaving. Knocking at the open door he said, "I'm going to head out."

Walking up to Savage, Charlie wrapped him in an embrace tight enough to have apparated along with him. "If anything major happens to me, you'll know about it with this," Charlie said handing Brad a coin with a dragon emblem on it. "We use them here as a way to let families know when there's been a critical injury. I'll use it to let you know if anything happens to me here."

They kissed one final time before Brad had to leave warmth and safety for loneliness and danger. Charlie finished dressing and went out to the dragon yard to grab his assignment for the day hoping that there would be a follow-up investigation soon. As he reached the yard Peters called to him, "Most blokes don't look that happy after a Ministry interrogation." Charlie grinned and winked at his coworker.

**May, 1998**

It was nearly dawn when Charlie apparated in Hogsmeade. It had taken several hours between first receiving word that there would a battle at Hogwarts to assembling all the witches and wizards he could to offer reinforcements. No one on the inside knew they were coming. It was agonizing for Charlie to have his family fighting and, his heart nearly stopped at the thought, dying without him there to help protect them.

It seemed as if hundreds had been roused to fight and the thought warmed Charlie through and through. A familiar hand grabbed his. Looking to his side, Charlie saw Brad standing next to him as casual as a bloke running into a friend at a quidditch match.

"I didn't think you'd come," Charlie said quietly as he gripped the coin he had used to send a message to Savage.

"Are you kidding? I've been waiting for this to happen for ages," Brad said in a bright voice.

"For the death eaters to take over Hogwarts?"

"No, to rescue you," he said squeezing Charlie's hand.

"We're actually here to rescue the castle," Charlie reminded him.

With a quick kiss, Brad said, "I know," and began to jog towards the castle.

They were soon separated in the horde as they ran towards the disfigured castle. It seemed that their force was the final wave in what must have been a massive battle. Charlie rushed into the castle fighting off death eaters while keeping an eye out for his family. He needed to know they were well. Brad began to pick off retreating death eaters as they fled the grounds.

When the fighting died down, Brad entered the Great Hall. Everything was in disarray. The once familiar castle was almost unrecognizable to those who had come to its rescue. Savage needed to find Charlie and never let him leave his sight again. He first stumbled over a person he did not expect to see among the dead – Tonks. His breath caught in his throat as he took in her lifeless body on the ground.

An icy tear raced down Brad's cheek as he remembered that she had been pregnant, last he heard. She must have given birth already. Next to his friend was her werewolf husband. Had they died together? It seemed a tragically poetic way for them to die after they struggled to realize their love. Brad had to turn away from them.

Looking around the room for anything else to focus on, his eyes caught a familiar group of redheads. Frantic, his eyes began to search for Charlie. It was clear that the family was in mourning but he could not tell for whom. He knew them so well but could not go up to them and ask after their second eldest son as Brad was a stranger to them. Charlie's head popped up from the table where he had been resting next to his older brother who appeared to recognize the auror. Brad wondered if his older brother knew of their relationship.

Making eye contact with Charlie felt akin to a warm embrace. Neither made a move towards each other. Bill said something in Charlie's ear to which he answered by shaking his head. Taking the hint, Brad left the room and the castle. It was not his place to intrude on this family affair. There was no one else at Hogwarts whose company he desired. He left for London to be alone with his thoughts and grief.

**January, 1999**

The door opened to the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures and a handful of people got on the lift. Brad shifted to the side to make room for the additional passengers when he saw a familiar freckled face. "Charlie?" he said tentatively to ensure he wasn't imagining an attractive doppelganger.

The man turned and looked a bit surprised to see Savage. "Brad, what are you doing here?" he asked with a tone of surprise and perhaps a touch of excitement.

"I work here. What's your excuse?" Brad asked raising an eyebrow. "Oh, here for re-certification?" The other men in the lift seemed to have the same rugged quality that working outdoors with dragons caused. Charlie nodded with a slightly puzzled look on his face wondering if Savage was still spying on his family or if he put person and place together. "Do you have time for lunch?" Brad asked before the atrium was announced.

"We were going to-" Charlie started but was quickly interrupted.

"Don't worry about us, Weasley. All of us know how to have a good time in London," one of the men said with a jocular note to his voice.

Charlie smiled and let his colleagues leave first. "How long are you in London?" Brad asked hoping he didn't sound upset or accusatory about Charlie not trying to see him. The truth was that they hadn't been in contact very much since that day at Hogwarts. Brad wrote to Charlie a few weeks after the world settled down and did not get a response for many weeks after that. It was a short and rather cold. The letters after that were less frequent and very distant. Brad began to wonder if Charlie was involved with someone else.

"Just for today," he said walking slowly towards the elevators. "Though I have the weekend off," he added without thinking.

"Do you… I mean, would you like to spend it here? Together?" Brad asked tentatively. He felt foolish for asking as it was becoming clear that Charlie was not interested in him if he had an entire weekend free and had not tried to make plans.

A smile formed on Charlie's rugged face as he said, "I think I'd like that, Savage." They walked together to one of the many fireplaces that lined the atrium and left for Brad's flat. Brad couldn't believe it had a year and a half since Charlie had last visited. The circumstances could not have been more disparate. Yet, there was the same hint of distrust between the two men. Both were comfortable and chatted happily but each kept a slight emotional barrier between them. Was it for protection? Had their love petered out due to neglect and unspoken qualms?

They sat across from one another sipping tea when Brad blurted out what had been bothering him for the past few hours. "Have I upset you?" he asked not sure if upset was the right word for how Charlie had been acting but calling the other man distant and stony was definitely not the right way to start the conversation either.

"You haven't upset me, Brad," Charlie started quietly. "I'm just processing quite a lot after the war, Fred's death, and, well, just putting life back together." His eyes locked onto Brad's before speaking again. "Part of me is still angry that you played spy on us, thankful that you helped, and confused about my feelings with all of that swirling around."

The words made sense to Brad but they did not feel good to hear. He tried not to respond with the anger that was edging close to the surface, rather he took a stab at understanding. "Did all of that make you feel coerced to be with me," he asked feeling slightly sick to his stomach. "I thought you had real feelings for me." Unfortunately his understanding thoughts had turned into defensive words.

"My feelings for you were as real as anything I felt in the last two years," Charlie said, his voice breaking slightly. "I just needed time and space to…" he paused for a moment to find what it was he had been doing. "To make sure I really love you for you and not out of some fear-driven need for survival."

This words punctured Brad's heart like vampire fangs, slowly spreading poison through his body. "Why are you here then?" he asked, not defensively, but in a tender worried tone.

"I had to find out for myself," Charlie answered still looking Brad square in the eyes. "It was pretty clear to me after about 5 minutes…" Brad's heart raced as the man he still loved next opened his mouth. "I've never felt this way about anyone else."

The weekend seemed to speed by for the two men. Before either of them were ready for it, Sunday afternoon was upon them. Almost hoping that an extending lie-in would stop the weekend from ending. Time did not stop for lovers.

Charlie was curled up next to Brad tracing the outline of a tattoo on Brad's chest. "Have you always had a dragon tattoo?" he asked trying to decide if it was a Chinese Fireball or Common Welch Green – the drawing was a bit generalized when it came to dragon features.

A blush crept up Brad's neck. "I got it last fall," he said meeting Charlie's blue eyes. "I was sloshed and missed you. Saw this in a tattoo parlor and got inked that night." The muggle who did the tattoo didn't have the slightest idea what Savage meant when he said his fella was a dragon tamer and thought it was the booze that caused him to ask for a Norwegian Ridgeback.

"I'll draw you one for the next time you're pissed and feel the need to get inked," he said planting a kiss over the dragon tattoo.

Before leaving that evening, Charlie and Brad made plans to meet up again when the weather was warmer. For the first time they parted ways confident that they would see each other soon and due to happenstance.

**December, 2001**

"Mum!" Charlie called into the kitchen at the Burrow it was Christmas Eve and the house would shortly be full of the expanding family. Molly Weasley turned from the kitchen table where she was supervising her knifes as they chopped vegetables for dinner. "Just got in from Romania," he said giving Mrs. Weasley a one-armed hug.

"How are you, dear?" she asked kissing his cheek. "I see you've forgotten how to cut your hair again," she added critically.

Charlie ducked out of her reach and eyed her wand wearily. "I'm fine, Mum, and my hair is just how I want it."

"Like a red mop on your head?" she asked tapping her wand. "How do you expect girls to notice you if you always hide your face?"

Blushing and not sure what to say to his expectant mother, Charlie was glad when George piped up from the stairs. "The only women for Charlie to attract have thick scaly hides and breathe fire." George winked at Charlie before going on, "You can't hound all of us for grandchildren, Mum."

The topics of dating and the vast number of eligible witches around Charlie's age were brought up at almost every visit these days. His mum didn't want to hear that he was too busy to date or any of the other excuses he made to not take her up on the blind dates she offered to arrange. Charlie wasn't sure what his parents would say if they knew he had a semi-regular romantic rendezvous with a man. Bill knew about Brad as did George, and Fred before he died, but it wasn't something he much wanted to share with the rest of his large family.

Watching as his mum cleared the vegetables and started setting plates, Charlie noticed there was one setting too many. She had set the table counting Fred's spot many times since his death. Part of his mum could hardly go a moment without recalling the painful reality of her son's death but parts of her that went on without thinking, the part that was setting the table, did not recall that there was on less person in the family now.

Deciding to ask about the extra plate, Charlie glanced at George before asking, "Mum, are we expecting guests?"

"Oh yes dear. A friend of yours, actually," she said brightly. "It turns out Ron and Harry know him from work and found out he was going to spend Christmas alone and invited him here instead." Charlie had a sneaking suspicion who it was based on the way George was grinning. "You and Brad will have to share a room I'm afraid. Even with Bill and Fleur coming over just for supper it's a touch crowded."

George was on the verge of laughing at Charlie's expression. It was the oddest combination of pleasure and panic that either had seen before. "I don't think Charlie will mind at all, Mum," George said finally letting out the short laugh he'd been holding in.

"Charlie, you should put your things away before Brad arrives. He's coming over when Harry and Ron get off work," she said without noticing her two sons and their odd reactions to her announcement.

Hurrying up the flight of stairs, Charlie couldn't help but worry about how the few days would go. He wasn't quite ready to announce to his family that he preferred blokes to women. Mainly it was because he didn't think he could face the look of loss on his mum's face upon hearing she would have fewer grandchildren. Charlie wondered if Brad's invitation to the Burrow was purely coincidence or if he had been angling at spending Christmas with the Weasley clan for some time. They hadn't talked about Christmas or the holidays the last time they met. It had been a few months back when they met in Amsterdam for a short holiday together. Their relationship had plateaued at spending the occasional holiday together or weekends when they were both free.

After what seemed like minutes later, George knocked at Charlie's door. "Everyone is here, including your boy toy," he said grinning.

"Don't you go bleating my private-"

"Relax, Charlie. I know how to be tactful and discreet," George reassured his older brother. Charlie raised an eyebrow. "I've read about it at least," George laughed. "Let's go downstairs before Mum sets the ghoul on us."

The kitchen table was crowded. Even without Bill and Fleur, who spent Christmas Eve with her family, there was barely enough room to cut their food with the Weasleys, Harry, Hermione, and Angelina – all of whom were soon to be permanently connected to the family – and Brad. Charlie had awkwardly half shook hands and hugged Brad when he got downstairs. They were seated next to one another at the table and their legs were touching in a way that made Charlie wish they were alone rather than surrounded by his family.

"So, Savage, I mean Brad," Mr. Weasley started after his first plate was clear of food. "Ron tells me you've been put in charge of crimes against muggles," he said looking alight with curiosity. "Are there still many of those going on?"

Brad dabbed his mouth with a napkin before answering. "A fair bit, actually. It's not as widespread or rampant as before the war but there are still witches and wizards who go out of their way to harm muggles," he said looking down the table at Arthur.

Before her husband could ask more about the muggles Brad interacted with, she posed the next question to her guest. "With a busy job like yours, do you find time to date?" she asked hoping to point out that people can work and have a social life.

"Not much," Brad said carefully. He could feel his face blush and tried not to glance toward Charlie.

"Mum, don't harass Savage about _his_ love, life," Ron said with a slight moan. "It's bad enough that Charlie gets an earful when he's home. You're going to scare him off."

Mrs. Weasley bristled slightly at her son's words. The other half of the table had stopped their idle conversations to watch the matriarch's reaction. "Well, pardon me for saying so, but two good-looking young men should not have that much trouble finding a nice witch to settle down with," she said with a tone of finality.

"Say, Brad," Ginny called down the table to draw attention from her seething mum, "How are you on a broomstick?" Brad, who wasn't that keen on flying unless it was to escape peril, shrugged half-heartedly. "We're having a Christmas Day match tomorrow. If you're rubbish you can play on Charlie's side but if you're decent I'll take you on mine."

"I'm definitely rubbish," Brad said risking a smile at Charlie.

That evening the two men were cloistered in Charlie's room together. They had pushed Bill's old bed up to Charlie's and put a silencing charm on the tiny room. Dinner had gone better than Charlie expected though he felt nervous about Brad having firsthand exposure to his family.

"They seem nice," Brad said as he fished pajamas from his bag. "Ron was great about inviting me over for the holiday. I think it might have been Harry's idea though," he said pulling back the covers on his side of the bed.

"Ron just happened to invite you over?" Charlie asked without hiding the incredulity in his voice.

"Well, not out of the blue. He asked if I was seeing my family for Christmas and I told him no. The next day he asked if I wanted to come to the Burrow. I had mentioned before that I know you," he said with a slightly guilty look. "I couldn't pass up seeing you at Christmas and feeling like a couple rather than…"

"Rather than two blokes to get together and shag?" Charlie offered feeling light on Christmas spirit. "I love our time together but I don't know if I was ready for my entire family to see our relationship."

Brad's eyebrows contracted as he listened to Charlie. "The only relationship they saw tonight was of two wizards that barely know each other," he said with a touch of coolness. "I _wanted_ to snog you like mad when you came downstairs but instead we did a little handshaking dance and took our seats. I want more of you, Charlie, and I don't want to hide."

Instead of meeting Brad's penetrating gaze, Charlie flopped onto his back and stared at the ceiling. "I don't know why I haven't told my family. I just can't, that's all."

The tears in Brad's eyes were unwelcome as were his feelings of hurt and rejection. "Why are you scared about saying 'Mum, Dad, Brad and I shag like bunnies and are madly in love'?" he asked trying to keep the conversation from spiraling out of control.

"It's terrifying, Brad. I'm scared of what they'll say or do. I don't know if they'll accept it or just say I'm going through a phase. I'm scared of losing you in the process of being so scared. Most of all, _I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you_*," Charlie said close to tears.

Kissing Charlie tenderly, Brad promised him, "You aren't going to lose me. I'm not going anywhere." Charlie ran his hand through Brad's dark hair and pulled him in for a sultry kiss. It was amazing how simple the world felt when he kissed Brad.

The next morning Ginny insisted they play quidditch right after breakfast and presents. "Are you sure you're legally allowed to play with us?" Ron teased his younger sister. "Won't the Harpies be angry if you're diluting your talent on a bunch of amateurs like us?"

"They won't monitor her for a Christmas scrimmage, Ron," Hermione said looking quite displeased at being forced onto a broomstick.

The rules were simple, fly below the tree line and try to get the quaffle past the other side's keeper. Hermione was the keeper on one end and Brad keeper on the other. They were the least comfortable on a broom. Charlie, Harry, George, and Brad were against Ginny, Ron, Angelina, and Hermione. The game was as quite competitive with Harry and Ginny teeing off. Percy and Audrey watched and cheered from the side. They wagered a galleon a piece on the winning team. The catcalls and taunts on each side as the game progressed. All in all the scrimmage seemed to be going well until – with a loud crack the quaffle that Ginny had just pelted toward Brad flew through his outstretched hands and broke his nose.

"Merlin, Ginny! It's just a game," Ron shouted at his sister.

Seven figures on brooms sped towards Brad as he dazedly dismounted his broom. Charlie was the first to reach him. "Mum can patch this up," he said ducking himself under Brad's arm to help the bleeding man towards the house.

Molly caught sight on the crowd coming in and rushed to open the door. "Oh dear," she said worriedly. "A broken nose – that should be easy to fix." With a flourish of her wand and the sound of cartilage being forced back into place, Brad's nose stopped bleeding. "Let's clean you up, dear," she said as if she were helping one of her own sons.

Charlie sat next to Brad as his mum worked on his nose. It was hard to play down his concern and emotions as he watched Brad's blood-covered face slowly return to its normal state. Once Molly deemed the damaged had been repaired, Charlie offered to bring Brad up to his room for a rest.

Once he was in bed and resting, Charlie sat by his bed. Brad was still a bit bleary-eyed. "Are we in your room?" he asked as Charlie's face came into focus. "Couldn't wait until tonight to get me back into bed?" he laughed.

"Saw through that, did you? I arranged the whole thing with Gin," Charlie said flatly. "I'm glad Ms. Harpie didn't take your head off. I would have been quite cross with her."

The two of them spent most of the afternoon holed up in Charlie's room together. Molly had been on the verge of going up to check on her son and their guest but Arthur told her, with a small smile playing on his face, that they were probably getting on just fine.

**September, 2003**

The warm ocean air blew over Charlie and Brad as they lounged on the beach in Cádiz. They were two days into their trip and could not have been happier. The sun was out and they had the rest of the weekend to enjoy one another. Their weekends together were becoming more frequent than they had been in the past.

Brad pulled out his camera and put his arm around Charlie's slightly sunburnt shoulders. "Say dragon pox!" They were both laughing when the camera clicked the first time and kissing when it snapped a second photo.

"I might have to get that one framed," Charlie said stretching out in the warm sand. "We should visit more beaches," he added. "It's much better than the snow."

"There's a lot less clothing," Brad said laughing. "I like it when you're in less clothing."

"Flirt."

"Show off."

Somehow Charlie ended up being chased by Brad into the water. They were making a scene but neither really cared. Not being able to magic off the sand afterwards, they had to trudge to their villa with wet sand in places that made the short walk uncomfortable.

That night they dined under the stars. The warm evening and suave sounds of Spanish around them made the night feel magical. It might have been the romantic feel of the night or the result of several months of contemplation that made Brad say, "I've been offered a job that would let work in Romania."

The idea that he and Brad could spend more time together made Charlie's heart race with excitement. "The auror office will start sending you to me full time? Spying on my dad again?" he teased.

"It's not quite the auror office. They need an international law enforcement representative to work on a bit of diplomacy," Brad explained with a smile on his face. "It'd be a desk job but I'd be close to you."

"I thought you hated desk work," Charlie said with his brows contracted together. "Said it felt like daily slow death."

Brad shrugged. "It'd be worth it to see you. We could even try living together," he said cautiously. Living together and having a fulltime, real life together was everything Brad hoped for and more.

The allure of having a life with Brad was undeniable. They could be out in the open and be really happy, he knew it. But then fear crept into his mind. Would they be happy together in the long run or would their relationship turn cold and bitter? What they had, whatever it was, worked for them and he didn't want to risk ruining it.

The silence between them lasted too long for it to be a moment of joy. "It's okay if you don't want to – it'd be a big step," Brad said quickly. "I haven't accepted the job yet."

Charlie spurred into speech, "I like the idea of us living together. It would be wonderful, really."

"But?" Brad asked trying to keep derision out of his voice.

"I just need time to think about it," Charlie said reassuringly. "Let's talk about it next time we have a weekend together."

They agreed to table the discussion. While Brad liked the impetuous move of thrusting their lives together, Charlie wanted to be cautious and certain it was right for both of them. The weather remained warm but there was a chill between the two lovers for the last day of their trip.

"I want to see you before Christmas," Charlie said in Brad's ear before they left Spain. "We hardly get time together at the Burrow." After his memorable first Christmas with the Weasleys, Molly insisted on inviting Brad back each year. While Charlie thought they suspected his family knew that he and Brad were more than friends, everyone let him keep the façade of friendship.

"Let me know when you're free," Brad said rubbing the back of Charlie's neck. "I'll miss you."

"I love you, Brad," Charlie said feeling the melancholy of departure sink in.

**November, 2003**

The snow drifted from the trees to the dragon enclosure. The younger dragons were letting out bursts of fire to melt the bits of snow as it fell. Charlie leaned against the fence and watched as the white fluff feel serenely from the sky.

"Charlie," came Ragar's rough voice. It took Charlie by surprise to be called by his first name. "Harry Potter is here to see you."

Trying to hide the concern on his face, Charlie followed his boss out of the enclosure. Something in his voice told him it wasn't a good visit. Mind racing with what could possibly be wrong – Charlie sped up his pace. Ragar pointed Charlie to the dining area of the dorm where Harry could be seen pacing.

"Harry?" Charlie said hoping his voice didn't betray his unease at Harry's sudden appearance in Romania. "What's going on? Is Ginny okay?"

Harry walked up the Charlie and put a consoling hand on his arm. "I have bad news, Charlie," he said somberly. "It's about Brad."

The tears Charlie felt were sudden and stung his cold face. "Is he hurt?" he asked not caring if Harry or his entire family found out about their relationship.

Guiding Charlie to a table seating him in a chair, he said, "He was hunting for a death eater, Travers, who escaped custody a few months back. There was a group of death eaters where Brad tracked them to. It was an ambush."

Charlie buried his head in hands. "No, no, no," he started to mutter. He could feel loss and grief seeping into him.

Patting his arm in a brotherly fashion, Harry went on, "He went out in a fight like a hero." Harry paused letting Charlie's sobs carry on. After a few minutes, Charlie's eyes were puffy and he looked as if he too had been murdered. "We know you were close. Brad didn't tell us about your relationship but it was obvious to, well, Hermione. He had a photo of you with him when… when it happened."

Pulling out a tattered picture from their recent trip to Spain, Harry handed it to Charlie. Looking at their laughing faces caused another round of tears and regret. He could have said yes and they would have been together. Brad would not have been chasing down stray death eaters. He felt culpable for his death as much as those that had killed him.

Charlie returned to London for Brad's funeral. The Ministry awarded him an Order of Merlin, First Class. His death was one of the first signs of major death eater activity since the end of the war. The entire Weasley family was there, mainly to support Charlie. After words were said and his body laid to rest, Charlie left the country to try burying his grief in his work.

Forgetting was impossible. Living with the pain, excruciating. It had been more than 10 years since Brad's funeral and every day the grief rose like the sun in the morning sky. No one pities a man who threw love aside so carelessly. He had failed at the one achievement people can hope for in life – to be loved and reciprocate love for another person. The weekly visitors to the exotic dragon preserve only saw the surface of Charlie's sad performance in life. If they saw deeper, if they saw what heaven above and the depths below witnessed, they too would know his disappointing misfortune.

A/N: If you're wondering who the heck Brad Savage is – let me tell you! He's mentioned in HBP as one of the aurors in Hogsmeade with Tonks. When I wrote Epitaph of a Good Man, I explored/made up Savage into a full character who ended up with a crush on Charlie.

I wrote this story for three challenges but mainly for my awesome HPFF friend, Rumpel. She gave me the idea to explore Savage/Charlie more so this story is dedicated to her.

The two quotes in this story Sylvia's path lines at the beginning and "I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the way I feel when I'm with you" from Dirty Dancing don't belong to me.


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